I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
