In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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