I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
