Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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