I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
