Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
