Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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