last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
