Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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