Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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