At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
