They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
