Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
