Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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