My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
