I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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