you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
