me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize