My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
