i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.