i permit you to call me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"