She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.