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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  fuckk wrong person

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  .. who was that for? a girlscout?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

  Fav 24 4509 1249

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (562): View more from California

  Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.

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• (858): View more from California

  Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now

  Fav 0 343 181

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.

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