When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
