so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
