Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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