He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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