Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
