i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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