Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
