i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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