remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
