I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
