I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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