there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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