help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
