i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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