Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.