Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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