It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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