you traded sex for a burrito?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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