normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
