Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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