She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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