i may or may not be watching the land before time
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
