I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
