i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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