i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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