Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize