I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
a search helicopter?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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