whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
