i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
