apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
