K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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