he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
