all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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