So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
