I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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