So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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