we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
