his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
