Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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