Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
