fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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