She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
