she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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