If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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