i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize