If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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