I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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