we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
