Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
